Marymount Manhattan Audition 3/7 (and ensuing madness)

Last weekend (March 7—I am publishing this much later) was my LAST college audition EVER!!! I was so excited. I thought, I am totally going to kill it on my monologue. I'm going to make them cry! I'm going to be so good they will accept me on the spot! Here is what actually happened:

We got to New York late on Friday because I went to the whole day of school. I've been missing a LOT lately and may be missing more as I'm pretty certain I have the flu right now. But I digress. Anyway, our host (who we stayed with for Unifieds as well, among other things) asked me not to vocalize in the morning. I was like...okay? My mom reasoned with her and I got to do some quiet humming. But no screlt. (Not that I would screlt in a college audition and I know that a lot of voice teachers hate the term, mine included. I actually prefer "wail.") So I didn't properly warm up beforehand, but that was fine—not the first time!

When we got there, they had a little breakfast buffet thing and a Starbucks. Everyone was camped out in the hallways and current students were mingling and answering questions. The dance call was first, and super fun. Everyone was great and I had seen a lot of them at previous auditions. After, we all went to a general info session and I asked a good question and the guy leading it was great and I was like "mom I totally wanna go here"...and then the MT lady came out. She was very...harsh, even in the discussion. I knew I blew it when I asked about whether the audition opportunities they bring to the school are equity. I mean I know it was a little gross sounding and I regretted asking as soon as I did, but yeah. Oh well, I thought. I can come back from that and have the best audition ever! So we all go to the bathroom and then get to the room where we're supposed to be doing this workshop/audition or whatever, and of course it's  the woman from the info session who I had already made a bad impression on. Well, when people started going up and singing in alphabetical order, the workshop thing didn't happen. She'd hear your legit song, say "do you belt," hear a belt song, and then done. On the website, they're like "oh we're not just testing voices!" But that's obviously all they were doing. The only people getting "workshopped" were the ones with wildly inappropriate audition material. She criticized one girl's headshot and outfit and worked with her to do better. But if your outfit and material choices and stuff were on point, 16 bars x2 was all you got. It was honestly so impersonal and I hated it. She did not say one thing to me (or anyone else) beyond "what will you be singing?" Maybe it was because of the environment or maybe because I couldn't warm up, but my songs were not the best. I was also nervous being in front of the other auditioners. Oh well. But then we went to do monologues, and they were like "ok we're only giving you so much time before we cut you off but we won't tell you how much just do what you can." They had told us to prepare 2 minute monologues, and mine is up there. So they cut EVERY SINGLE PERSON OFF HALFWAY. It felt like a cattle call which like I get that that's the business or whatever, but this is a college audition. I was so freaked out that I blanked on a couple lines of my monologue which I have never done before EVER and I kind of slurred at times. And they cut me off right before my favorite part. They can't have given us more than a minute and a half. God, it was awful. The only thing that was remotely interview like was that they went around at the end and we told them what we liked to do outside of theatre. So you DO care about knowing who we are as human beings? What? Honestly, rejection was a blessing. It was my only audition where I felt like they didn't care about me.

Update 3/3

Yesterday I got accepted to Ithaca for Theatre Arts Management!!
I also got a $20,000 scholarship--the biggest one yet. It's really a lot of money. It makes an actual dent in Ithaca's tuition. I haven't seen my financial aid package yet, but Ithaca College is on the way to being affordable.
I posted it right on Facebook and Twitter. I know you maybe aren't supposed to do that, but I don't care. The validation is amazing. Sometimes you need to be patted on the back. Besides, I can easily protect my tweets and posts so colleges can't find them.
My dad also approves. I'm just going to chill out until I hear from everywhere else. Honestly, I am thrilled to have a theatre management acceptance, but I'm still struggling with location. I'm not going to worry yet--I still have 9 schools to hear from and another AUDITION this weekend! Man! Auditioning! Throwback to January, am I right!? My last MT audition was UArts at Unifieds! Do I even still remember my songs? Just kidding, I do.
I'll be recapping the Marymount audition soon, I'm sure!

Update 2/26

Today I got my first financial aid offer from UArts. Including $2275 in loans and $750 in work study, they are giving me $32400 a year. Which is like 2/3 of tuition and brings what I'd actually have to pay down to less than $20000.
Here's the problem though: my dad is pissed! I said something about the offer being hard to beat and he was like "lol no ur taking a gap year if you don't get in anywhere else." He only hates it because it is test optional and has arts in the name. Good Lord.

2/21 Ithaca Interview

Last weekend my mom, Layla and I headed up to Ithaca for my interview for theatre arts management. We drove the 6 hours there on Friday and stayed with family friends. Wow, there is so much upstate New York! Saturday morning started with a check-in and info session at 8. It was freezing cold. The first thing the woman leading the info session (department chair) said was, "if the only thing stopping you from going here is the price, email me and I'll get you more financial aid." It is a really intimate program, which is cool. There are only 6-8 theatre arts management majors aka TAMs per class, and then acting/MT performance BFAs, BA theatre studies and BFA design and production (nice to be at a school where they understand production is different from producing, haha). About half the people were auditioning for acting and MT, and the other half was mostly theatre studies with 4 potential TAMs and 1 design/production person. Honestly, I thought everyone would be MT, so I was really surprised! The performance people left to warm up and the theatre studies people started interviewing first, so it was just the 5 of us plus families. They brought in a panel of current students who were all great. I was the second TAM to interview. They brought me downstairs to an office where there were 2 women (I had no idea who to look at because one sat across from me and one was next to me) who asked me questions. They were really interesting! They asked me about my experience, what I do in my free time apart from theatre, why theatre arts management, etc. They were both super nice and loved hearing about Africa :). I was kind of nervous about showing my portfolio because I don't have a ton of experience, but I was allowed to explain what each thing was. And um they seemed to think I did have a ton of experience! Which was awesome! And they kind of accepted me on the spot! I can't remember the exact wording used but it was something like "there is no reason why you would not get accepted" and "you seem like a really good fit for this program"...and yeah. Yay! But it also got me thinking about what it would be like to be around actors and not be one and now I'm really confused about what I want. Double yay!!!! My decision is going to actually be kind of a big deal!
After the interview, I got a tour with two of the current TAMs, who were awesome. But I was kind of in shock from having been accepted and in the throes of existential doubt so I maybe didn't take as many mental notes as I could have. Especially because my mom will not be driving me back there for accepted students day. Ah well. It's going to come down to money anyway!
The rest of our time in Ithaca was great. We went to the Moosewood restaurant that night, and the next morning we went to Cornell (where my grandparents met) and saw the chapel where they got married. Cornell is incredible. It's like its own city. I don't regret not applying there, because they don't have a good theatre department, but damn. That might have been worth 2 subject tests and $80.
So that was my Ithaca weekend! I can't believe I only have one more whirlwind trip like this. I'm kind of sad!

Update 2/12

Today I got an e-mail from the head of Production & Design at BU. He said that the woman who auditioned me thought it might be a better fit or that I had the skills for it or something. I am fairly certain that when I interviewed at BU I talked about being interested in producing and casting--and it's totally possible she thought I meant production and casting, as in making masks. HAHA. It was still kind of very sad because of course I had to e-mail back and be like "lol no that actually is a terrible fit."
I also sent an e-mail to the woman who auditioned me, thanking her for not only remembering me but caring enough to try and get me to come to her school in any program (it is flattering!) and gushing about the wonderful experience I had at BU...and also respectfully declining the invitation. Sigh. I was like "I'd still love to be considered for performance!" but let's be real, if she thought I would do better in Design & Production which I have negative experience with, I don't really stand a chance.
Oh well. This is hopefully going to take away some of the pain of rejection. It's totally my fault for being inarticulate in the interview. And not emphasizing that acting comes first for me. I get so caught up in trying to be individual in my interests that I forget I'm still one of the aspiring actors who only feels alive onstage and all that crap. It just so happens that I have other things that make me unique, and I wave them in the faces of auditors so they will remember me (although UArts and Cornish liked them!). That's the truth. And it's sad because I've discounted my love for acting, which comes first and always has. I can do other things besides act, but I can't not act. You know? It's always been weird for me to write that, first because I was ashamed for normal reasons and now because it's too cliche. This is ridiculous. Thank God I got into performance programs already! At least I know I won't have to stop.
Remember my stomach thing from Emerson and Unifieds? Yeah, it didn't go away. I finally went to the doctor and she gave me some meds but I still feel weird. Apparently I will feel better within the week. I better! I'm so behind in school from missing for auditions and sickness, and I'm less motivated than I've ever been. Now that I actually know I'm going, I can't WAIT for college.
I also got this weird letter from UArts today, reminding me that there are still academics at the school and an honors college if I'm interested. Honestly, that's the last thing I feel like being a part of right now. I'm so done with academics. I thought I had senioritis when I was a freshman...geez. Freshman me knew nothing of true slackerdom.

What You've Been Looking For

See what I did there? Can't not be Sharpay.
I've started to see a lot of my junior friends thinking about what they want in a college (and summer program: more on that later!). So I thought I would share the list of questions to ask yourself about what you want that I was given when I first started out looking.
As someone who has only recently discovered what I like in a theatre school, I just want to say that everything changes even as you go through the process. Some things confirmed what I always knew, and others shifted, and one or two even rotated 180 degrees. Also, I would definitely say that if you have any special interests at all, really, take that into account. At first I thought I was willing to give up management for acting but came to realize I could do both. Not only does it eliminate a lot of programs, schools love to hear that you're not solely interested in performing. At least, the ones I auditioned for did!
Anyway, here it is!
Ask yourself if you want a school...

• close to or far from your home
• in a city, small town, or rural area
• where you will spend all your time with other theatre students
• where you can pursue another passion, such as sports or visual art
• where you can have the "traditional college experience" with football and keggers and stuff
• with Greek life
• where you can unwind in nature (this is kind of like the city question)
• where you have the freedom to create or participate in student run projects
• in an area with urban nightlife
• where you can have a city's cultural opportunities: museums, shows, shopping, etc.
• with a certain type of culture (either in the school or department--ask current students about this!)
• where certain dietary needs can be met (i.e., Kosher or Halal, vegetarian, allergies)
• where you will be supported academically
• where you will be challenged academically (this was a big one for me!)
• what sort of program style you want: conservatory (2 or 4 year, usually 80+% studio classes), conservatory style (usually 1/3 to 3/4 studio classes), or liberal arts (1/2 or less studio classes)

AND ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD. And then apply wherever you want because who knows what scholarships and aid you can get. But keep in mind that it really sucks to get in and not be able to go because of money. Or have to take on incredible amounts of debt because it's really hard to have a job and audition/be in a BFA program. Also, this can be super tough for parents. My family lies right in that awkward middle-class-own-4-cars-but-have-nothing-saved-but-make-well-above-the-average-US-income pocket so I know how it is. Or will soon.

When you're looking for a program, here is what you should ask (of yourself for what you want, and of the school for what is provided):

• How many acting classes are there over the 4 years?
• Will we dance every semester/year/day?
• Will we take voice every semester?
• Can I choose my voice teacher? (as the child of musician parents who send kids to music school, this one is more important than you might think)
• Is the voice faculty from the music department? (Most are. My voice teacher has told me about students of his that struggle with the 100% classical training. Pretty frustrating for us belters!)
• Are BAs cast in the main stage shows?
• Can freshman perform?
• What sort of tech requirements are there?
• Do you offer classes in playwriting, directing, or another specific theatrical interest? 
• What is the Shakespeare training like? 
• Is there a cut or review system? (In a cut program, more freshmen are accepted than the school can graduate, so at the end of a year they cut back to a specific number. These are going extinct. In a review program, you have juries at the end of every semester/year where the faculty determines whether you have been progressing. If not, you're put on probation and eventually asked to leave. Beware of juries as well! A girl I know said they really stressed her out her first couple of years even though she never had a problem passing.)
• Are there opportunities to be involved in show choir, student productions, a cappella, dance ensembles, etc.?
• How does the program/faculty feel about students taking leaves of absence to be in professional productions?
• Does the school encourage and/or facilitate auditions for summer stock, etc.?
• Are there classes in the business of the business? 
• Are internships available/required?
• What sort of industry connections does the school have? (Showcase, workshops, etc.)
• Is study abroad available/required?

These sorts of questions will be important all through the admissions process. You can certainly save some of them for info sessions and auditions! Good luck (is break a leg applicable here?) determining what you want in a college!

Update 2/5: Another Acceptance What Is Life

Holy crap. Remember how I had the greatest audition ever for Cornish and I want the auditor to adopt me? Just got in there. I submitted my application literally yesterday. Holy crap. The email was from a real guy who I had talked to about auditioning before Unifieds, which was funny because I was just thinking about how much I would like feedback from people who were in the room. He was like "nice play" which was chill because no one except my mom (and you all when I make this public, RIGHT?? PSA click the link on the sidebar) has ever read it. I am tempted to post it but since it's personal that might be weird. They said a letter with an "initial scholarship offer" is coming in the mail.
IS THIS REAL?!?!? I am the girl who has never had a lead in a musical, who passed 1 of 7 MT prescreens, who still can't mix. The process could not have thrown me a bigger curve ball. Really. I'm dying. Help. I am actually leaving here next year. I don't have to prepare for the worst anymore. I'm so happy. I don't deserve this, but also I really really deserve this. Wow. I am going to have to make an actual DECISION one of these days. That's terrifying. How did I become one of those kids with multiple acceptances?!?!?!?