Today I got an e-mail from the head of Production & Design at BU. He said that the woman who auditioned me thought it might be a better fit or that I had the skills for it or something. I am fairly certain that when I interviewed at BU I talked about being interested in producing and casting--and it's totally possible she thought I meant production and casting, as in making masks. HAHA. It was still kind of very sad because of course I had to e-mail back and be like "lol no that actually is a terrible fit."
I also sent an e-mail to the woman who auditioned me, thanking her for not only remembering me but caring enough to try and get me to come to her school in any program (it is flattering!) and gushing about the wonderful experience I had at BU...and also respectfully declining the invitation. Sigh. I was like "I'd still love to be considered for performance!" but let's be real, if she thought I would do better in Design & Production which I have negative experience with, I don't really stand a chance.
Oh well. This is hopefully going to take away some of the pain of rejection. It's totally my fault for being inarticulate in the interview. And not emphasizing that acting comes first for me. I get so caught up in trying to be individual in my interests that I forget I'm still one of the aspiring actors who only feels alive onstage and all that crap. It just so happens that I have other things that make me unique, and I wave them in the faces of auditors so they will remember me (although UArts and Cornish liked them!). That's the truth. And it's sad because I've discounted my love for acting, which comes first and always has. I can do other things besides act, but I can't not act. You know? It's always been weird for me to write that, first because I was ashamed for normal reasons and now because it's too cliche. This is ridiculous. Thank God I got into performance programs already! At least I know I won't have to stop.
Remember my stomach thing from Emerson and Unifieds? Yeah, it didn't go away. I finally went to the doctor and she gave me some meds but I still feel weird. Apparently I will feel better within the week. I better! I'm so behind in school from missing for auditions and sickness, and I'm less motivated than I've ever been. Now that I actually know I'm going, I can't WAIT for college.
I also got this weird letter from UArts today, reminding me that there are still academics at the school and an honors college if I'm interested. Honestly, that's the last thing I feel like being a part of right now. I'm so done with academics. I thought I had senioritis when I was a freshman...geez. Freshman me knew nothing of true slackerdom.
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