Update 2/26

Today I got my first financial aid offer from UArts. Including $2275 in loans and $750 in work study, they are giving me $32400 a year. Which is like 2/3 of tuition and brings what I'd actually have to pay down to less than $20000.
Here's the problem though: my dad is pissed! I said something about the offer being hard to beat and he was like "lol no ur taking a gap year if you don't get in anywhere else." He only hates it because it is test optional and has arts in the name. Good Lord.

2/21 Ithaca Interview

Last weekend my mom, Layla and I headed up to Ithaca for my interview for theatre arts management. We drove the 6 hours there on Friday and stayed with family friends. Wow, there is so much upstate New York! Saturday morning started with a check-in and info session at 8. It was freezing cold. The first thing the woman leading the info session (department chair) said was, "if the only thing stopping you from going here is the price, email me and I'll get you more financial aid." It is a really intimate program, which is cool. There are only 6-8 theatre arts management majors aka TAMs per class, and then acting/MT performance BFAs, BA theatre studies and BFA design and production (nice to be at a school where they understand production is different from producing, haha). About half the people were auditioning for acting and MT, and the other half was mostly theatre studies with 4 potential TAMs and 1 design/production person. Honestly, I thought everyone would be MT, so I was really surprised! The performance people left to warm up and the theatre studies people started interviewing first, so it was just the 5 of us plus families. They brought in a panel of current students who were all great. I was the second TAM to interview. They brought me downstairs to an office where there were 2 women (I had no idea who to look at because one sat across from me and one was next to me) who asked me questions. They were really interesting! They asked me about my experience, what I do in my free time apart from theatre, why theatre arts management, etc. They were both super nice and loved hearing about Africa :). I was kind of nervous about showing my portfolio because I don't have a ton of experience, but I was allowed to explain what each thing was. And um they seemed to think I did have a ton of experience! Which was awesome! And they kind of accepted me on the spot! I can't remember the exact wording used but it was something like "there is no reason why you would not get accepted" and "you seem like a really good fit for this program"...and yeah. Yay! But it also got me thinking about what it would be like to be around actors and not be one and now I'm really confused about what I want. Double yay!!!! My decision is going to actually be kind of a big deal!
After the interview, I got a tour with two of the current TAMs, who were awesome. But I was kind of in shock from having been accepted and in the throes of existential doubt so I maybe didn't take as many mental notes as I could have. Especially because my mom will not be driving me back there for accepted students day. Ah well. It's going to come down to money anyway!
The rest of our time in Ithaca was great. We went to the Moosewood restaurant that night, and the next morning we went to Cornell (where my grandparents met) and saw the chapel where they got married. Cornell is incredible. It's like its own city. I don't regret not applying there, because they don't have a good theatre department, but damn. That might have been worth 2 subject tests and $80.
So that was my Ithaca weekend! I can't believe I only have one more whirlwind trip like this. I'm kind of sad!

Update 2/12

Today I got an e-mail from the head of Production & Design at BU. He said that the woman who auditioned me thought it might be a better fit or that I had the skills for it or something. I am fairly certain that when I interviewed at BU I talked about being interested in producing and casting--and it's totally possible she thought I meant production and casting, as in making masks. HAHA. It was still kind of very sad because of course I had to e-mail back and be like "lol no that actually is a terrible fit."
I also sent an e-mail to the woman who auditioned me, thanking her for not only remembering me but caring enough to try and get me to come to her school in any program (it is flattering!) and gushing about the wonderful experience I had at BU...and also respectfully declining the invitation. Sigh. I was like "I'd still love to be considered for performance!" but let's be real, if she thought I would do better in Design & Production which I have negative experience with, I don't really stand a chance.
Oh well. This is hopefully going to take away some of the pain of rejection. It's totally my fault for being inarticulate in the interview. And not emphasizing that acting comes first for me. I get so caught up in trying to be individual in my interests that I forget I'm still one of the aspiring actors who only feels alive onstage and all that crap. It just so happens that I have other things that make me unique, and I wave them in the faces of auditors so they will remember me (although UArts and Cornish liked them!). That's the truth. And it's sad because I've discounted my love for acting, which comes first and always has. I can do other things besides act, but I can't not act. You know? It's always been weird for me to write that, first because I was ashamed for normal reasons and now because it's too cliche. This is ridiculous. Thank God I got into performance programs already! At least I know I won't have to stop.
Remember my stomach thing from Emerson and Unifieds? Yeah, it didn't go away. I finally went to the doctor and she gave me some meds but I still feel weird. Apparently I will feel better within the week. I better! I'm so behind in school from missing for auditions and sickness, and I'm less motivated than I've ever been. Now that I actually know I'm going, I can't WAIT for college.
I also got this weird letter from UArts today, reminding me that there are still academics at the school and an honors college if I'm interested. Honestly, that's the last thing I feel like being a part of right now. I'm so done with academics. I thought I had senioritis when I was a freshman...geez. Freshman me knew nothing of true slackerdom.

What You've Been Looking For

See what I did there? Can't not be Sharpay.
I've started to see a lot of my junior friends thinking about what they want in a college (and summer program: more on that later!). So I thought I would share the list of questions to ask yourself about what you want that I was given when I first started out looking.
As someone who has only recently discovered what I like in a theatre school, I just want to say that everything changes even as you go through the process. Some things confirmed what I always knew, and others shifted, and one or two even rotated 180 degrees. Also, I would definitely say that if you have any special interests at all, really, take that into account. At first I thought I was willing to give up management for acting but came to realize I could do both. Not only does it eliminate a lot of programs, schools love to hear that you're not solely interested in performing. At least, the ones I auditioned for did!
Anyway, here it is!
Ask yourself if you want a school...

• close to or far from your home
• in a city, small town, or rural area
• where you will spend all your time with other theatre students
• where you can pursue another passion, such as sports or visual art
• where you can have the "traditional college experience" with football and keggers and stuff
• with Greek life
• where you can unwind in nature (this is kind of like the city question)
• where you have the freedom to create or participate in student run projects
• in an area with urban nightlife
• where you can have a city's cultural opportunities: museums, shows, shopping, etc.
• with a certain type of culture (either in the school or department--ask current students about this!)
• where certain dietary needs can be met (i.e., Kosher or Halal, vegetarian, allergies)
• where you will be supported academically
• where you will be challenged academically (this was a big one for me!)
• what sort of program style you want: conservatory (2 or 4 year, usually 80+% studio classes), conservatory style (usually 1/3 to 3/4 studio classes), or liberal arts (1/2 or less studio classes)

AND ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD. And then apply wherever you want because who knows what scholarships and aid you can get. But keep in mind that it really sucks to get in and not be able to go because of money. Or have to take on incredible amounts of debt because it's really hard to have a job and audition/be in a BFA program. Also, this can be super tough for parents. My family lies right in that awkward middle-class-own-4-cars-but-have-nothing-saved-but-make-well-above-the-average-US-income pocket so I know how it is. Or will soon.

When you're looking for a program, here is what you should ask (of yourself for what you want, and of the school for what is provided):

• How many acting classes are there over the 4 years?
• Will we dance every semester/year/day?
• Will we take voice every semester?
• Can I choose my voice teacher? (as the child of musician parents who send kids to music school, this one is more important than you might think)
• Is the voice faculty from the music department? (Most are. My voice teacher has told me about students of his that struggle with the 100% classical training. Pretty frustrating for us belters!)
• Are BAs cast in the main stage shows?
• Can freshman perform?
• What sort of tech requirements are there?
• Do you offer classes in playwriting, directing, or another specific theatrical interest? 
• What is the Shakespeare training like? 
• Is there a cut or review system? (In a cut program, more freshmen are accepted than the school can graduate, so at the end of a year they cut back to a specific number. These are going extinct. In a review program, you have juries at the end of every semester/year where the faculty determines whether you have been progressing. If not, you're put on probation and eventually asked to leave. Beware of juries as well! A girl I know said they really stressed her out her first couple of years even though she never had a problem passing.)
• Are there opportunities to be involved in show choir, student productions, a cappella, dance ensembles, etc.?
• How does the program/faculty feel about students taking leaves of absence to be in professional productions?
• Does the school encourage and/or facilitate auditions for summer stock, etc.?
• Are there classes in the business of the business? 
• Are internships available/required?
• What sort of industry connections does the school have? (Showcase, workshops, etc.)
• Is study abroad available/required?

These sorts of questions will be important all through the admissions process. You can certainly save some of them for info sessions and auditions! Good luck (is break a leg applicable here?) determining what you want in a college!

Update 2/5: Another Acceptance What Is Life

Holy crap. Remember how I had the greatest audition ever for Cornish and I want the auditor to adopt me? Just got in there. I submitted my application literally yesterday. Holy crap. The email was from a real guy who I had talked to about auditioning before Unifieds, which was funny because I was just thinking about how much I would like feedback from people who were in the room. He was like "nice play" which was chill because no one except my mom (and you all when I make this public, RIGHT?? PSA click the link on the sidebar) has ever read it. I am tempted to post it but since it's personal that might be weird. They said a letter with an "initial scholarship offer" is coming in the mail.
IS THIS REAL?!?!? I am the girl who has never had a lead in a musical, who passed 1 of 7 MT prescreens, who still can't mix. The process could not have thrown me a bigger curve ball. Really. I'm dying. Help. I am actually leaving here next year. I don't have to prepare for the worst anymore. I'm so happy. I don't deserve this, but also I really really deserve this. Wow. I am going to have to make an actual DECISION one of these days. That's terrifying. How did I become one of those kids with multiple acceptances?!?!?!?

Update 2/3

I was feeling sick again today and barely made it through AP English. I came home and was watching Jane the Virgin with Layla (my little sister in case you didn't know) on the couch when about 15 minutes ago, my dad walked in and threw these 3 giant packages on the couch. It was very jarring. I was like, ugh, must you? I'm feeling sick! I wasn't going to open them but Layla handed me the packages. They were all from colleges. First I noticed that SCAD sent me an entire BOOK. There was also a medium sized but thick envelope from IU and a huge one from UArts. I logically opened the UArts one first because it was most likely to contain a decision (I already got into IU and haven't applied to SCAD) and I was confused because it was so BIG. But I ripped it open and inside was this big folder...and in the folder was an ACCEPTANCE. For musical theatre. Also a $16000 academic scholarship.
I got up, went into my mom's studio where she was practicing, and said "here. This just came and I think it's a mistake." And I shoved it in front of her face.
In retrospect, I'm pretty sure it's real.
I mean, I had a good audition although I though it was weird that they didn't ask me to dance. And the faculty was brilliant and basically I am so, so thrilled. I didn't think my first acceptance would come this early. I didn't think my first acceptance would come. You remember that UArts was the only prescreen I passed, after all.
I recently made a vow to myself that I wouldn't talk to any more students or do any more research until I was accepted somewhere. So. I'm off to find some current students to talk to.
Oh. And all of my advice is officially valid now so you can start taking this blog way more seriously now. ABBY OUT.
*drops mic*
*picks up mic*
*sings Everything's Coming Up Roses*

Edit: I also got into the IU Honors College!

A Giant Rant

OKAY. All this MT-competition-College-Confidential-is-my-kid-good-enough-top-tier-what-are-the-odds-talent-pool BULLSHIT is starting to piss me off.
Here's the thing: yes, colleges want "talent," although I think the better word is "skill." But we're artists, okay? There's no definitive way to RANK artists. STANISLAVSKI, GUYS. "There is no good or bad or right or wrong; there is only what is true." My acting teacher at Circle said that like 6 times a day. Hasn't everyone been told this by their acting teacher? I just don't understand what else people think theatre is for. We all get so caught up in the numbers and the competition that it becomes a game of getting in or having the best audition and we forget why we even started. The whole point of theatre is moving people and being unique and brave and individual. Why else would it exist? Because the freaking ancient Greeks loved Glee when they were in middle school?
There is no way they are ranking people from most to least talented and taking the top 24 or 50 or 8 or whatever. I refuse to believe that, because it doesn't make sense! They're not! Because there is no definitive number of "best" people. We're all talented. There's no way anyone auditioning is not a little bit talented--er, skilled. I just don't think there's a way to rank people, except in terms of that technical skill and whether they tell the story honestly, like Stanislavski said. Everyone also forgets that there's more to a college audition than your actual performance. My mom has been on a lot of audition panels and even for music, so, so much of it is the interview. They ask you to pull up that chair because they want to KNOW you so they can figure out whether it's going to be a good match. They literally say it! And people still freak about the one crack on the last note and how that means they're never getting in. I've had some relatively meh auditions, but the interview was so spectacular that I counted it as one of my "good ones."
And of course, there's a randomness to the whole thing. In the BU info session, the woman said she sees 850 auditioners and thinks 250 would do well in the program (and since we all have some technical skill I swear to God those 250 are the honest ones, I know this because that same woman looked at my resume and told me she had also trained with my teacher who quoted Stanislavski) but can only accept 90. Even if you're what they want, they might have too much of what they want. That's why you can't feel bad when you're rejected. UNLESS you didn't show your real self.
So what are colleges looking for? I don't know, people they can see and TEACH every single day for four years and not want to MURDER? Maybe??? People who don't waste time trying to figure out what the people behind the table want and are solid enough in themselves that they can actually express shit and be a person and relate to other people? People who are unique???! Actual people like human beings??!!!??? MAYBE.
Or maybe, they are looking for the people who are most technically skilled, the most commercial, the ones who'll book the most the fastest. Clearly, some are. Some are. I acknowledge that. But if that's what "top" colleges want, then how incredibly stupid. I don't want to go to one. I didn't audition for the ones with those reputations. I want nothing to do with it because I got into this as an ARTIST, dammit, and I will stay an artist if it's the last thing I do.
Unless I become a producer. Oops.
I have to believe there are musical theatre programs out there that are doing more than plugging their students into this Broadway formula for maximum revenue. There must be some that are looking for people they get along with, can play with, can teach. It's literally so easy to be one of those people. You just have to stop freaking out about whether the mysterious faculty members behind the table think you're "talented" enough to get in.